


You Are Yours, No One Else's

by Plz_Humor_My_Ships



Series: Cute and/or Angsty AH Oneshots [3]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Misunderstanding, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Past Domestic Violence, Protective Jon Risinger, Protectiveness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2019-01-22 12:04:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12481144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Plz_Humor_My_Ships/pseuds/Plz_Humor_My_Ships
Summary: Michael probably couldn’t tell you exactly when it started or how it happened. The pain is good, it’s for his own good, he deserves this. Affection has always been foreign, having not received any for most of his life, aside from his parents. That is, until he moved to Austin, he moved for a job offer at a company called Roosterteeth, where the five people he found himself working with, soon became his closest friends. They were his first friends since… kindergarten…? Maybe? Michael couldn’t remember but then again he also didn’t really care...Or; where Michael had a bad past and is too scared to get too close to the guys. With a mistake on Gavin's part and a shit ton of comfort, maybe he can learn to trust them like he wanted to.I am open to prompts. Please let me know.





	You Are Yours, No One Else's

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I have been writing this slowly over the past month and honestly I never thought I'd decide to finish it. Huh. 
> 
> Please comment? And any and all prompts are welcome. Seriously. I'll do anything.
> 
> Love youuuuuuu~

Michael probably couldn’t tell you exactly when it started or how it happened. The pain is good, it’s for his own good, he deserves this. Affection has always been foreign, having not received any for most of his life, aside from his parents. That is, until he moved to Austin, he moved for a job offer at a company called Roosterteeth, where the five people he found himself working with, soon became his closest friends. They were his first friends since… kindergarten…? Maybe? Michael couldn’t remember but then again he also didn’t really care.

Sure, they would occasionally fight, he’d long ago trained his body to just go numb, yelling, agitation, it would all lead to pain… except it didn’t. Arguments were resolved, sometimes punches were thrown, people were tackled, but it never _hurt_. They _never once_ , **_tried_** to hurt him, when they did it was always because of taunting in one way or another, but they were just small things like pinches, flicking and such. Michael had never felt safer or more cared for than when he was sitting in that office, their office, playing games with those five men.

\---

It was Thursday again, and Geoff had basically evacuated the room for the next hour or so. It was understandable, Geoff had given him a game which he said- “- will make you, lose your shit” –he was both nervous and excited. Rage Quit, was always the reason why be both hated, and loved Thursdays. He loved getting out some of his pent up aggression, but being pissed off was never a nice feeling and afterwards he always felt exhausted.

Whilst the game was loading, he pulled up the recording controls, making sure that it was ready to record him most likely, screaming till his face was red and his head spun… again. Once he was absolutely sure that it was recording, he delved into the game.

It was easy, it was so fucking easy and honestly that was what was pissing him off. Level start, run, jump, win, level start, run, jump, win over and over and _fucking over_. It didn’t make any sense, why would Geoff tell him to play this if it- then it happened. The level started, but this time it was different, there were lasers and buzz saws, holes, platforms… is that a fucking shark tank?

Every time he died, a blood splatter appeared where it happened, the whole goddamn fucking level was covered in blood, Geoff was right. He was losing his shit.

His eye was twitching, his face was red, and his screams were echoing. He was pissed, he was so pissed, he was so fucking pissed, his co-workers were probably also pissed- at him. He knew he was being too loud but he couldn’t stop himself, suddenly there was a bang on the door of the office. Someone had knocked probably trying to mess with him. Well mission a-fucking-complished, the knocking had startled him so much that his character died. _Right. At. The. End._

In his rage he punched the desk, again and again, working out some of his frustration his screams doubling in volume. If he were in his right mind he probably would have made a joke about how if he continued he might put as many holes in the desk as Gavin’s. But he wasn’t, so he didn’t.

He stood up roughly, forcing his chair out of the way so he could move. The Jersian paced, yanking his beanie roughly off his head, throwing it on the desk next to him, so he could better access his hair. Michael ran a hand through his auburn curls, letting out an aggravated grunt as one of his fingers caught a knot. At least now he was slightly calmer, he stopped and stood in the middle of the office with his hands on his hips. A hushed voice came from the other side of the door before it quietly opened, just enough for Kerry to see in. The red-head still wasn’t calm enough or in the right mood to greet him properly.

“WHAT KERRY?”

Kerry whimpered , quickly closing the door, Michael vaguely heard Lindsay’s muffled voice yell something along the lines of-

“I told you Kerry!”

He briefly considered following and apologizing to the younger man, but that thought was quickly lost in his newly re-acquired anger. _Fuck Kerry_ , he thought to himself _he walked in on me. He should know better than to do that_. Taking another deep breath he closed his eyes, he really needed to calm down, at least a little bit.

Nope. Not working. Groaning, he quickly grunted out that he didn’t want to go through that anymore and ended the recording. Still seething, he stored the footage and audio into a single fine then emailed it to himself so that he would have a back-up just in case something happened… again.

As gently as he could manage in his state, the brown eyed man exited out of the game and set the controller away. He leaned back in the chair and curled his fingers in his hair once again, he tilted his head back to look at the bouncing castle tied to the ceiling through the small window connecting to the office. And tried to relax before returning.

```

As he entered the Achievement Hunter office, he was immediately met with quiet chuckles from both Geoff, Gavin and Ryan, those fuckers. Not acknowledging them, he walked over to the small fridge in the corner looking inside for the can of Red Bull he had stashed in there that morning.

“Oh come on Micool~ you know were only joking~” and yeah, he did, but he was too agitated to give a rat’s ass. He rolled his eyes at the Brit, and raised his middle finger at Geoff while not looking away from his can.

“Fuck you man.” That only caused another bout of infectious laughter, and honestly he didn’t even want to try and resist. It felt good to laugh, and this office was a near constant source, though sometimes when he needed a break he would seek out a few options, Lindsay, Miles, Kerry, Burnie, Jon, Joel or Gus would usually just let him hang around. In their office or in some cases or with certain people, under their desks, none bar Burnie, Joel, Jon, Matt and Gus knew why.

Burnie, Matt and Gus because of the background check you have to run when hiring someone. Joel and Jon because, well they were his unlikely friends, he may pretend to hate Jon, but really they were closer than they appeared. Joel because the bastard had walked in on him in the bathroom during one of his freak outs a little after he had started working there, he offered his help and from there it just… happened. Now he confused the rest of the guys in the office by dropping in every day or two during his break from doing… whatever it was he did here.

Speaking of which, the adrenaline from the anger was wearing off and honestly, that made him scared, this was _really_ why he hated Thursdays. In the past getting angry only got him in trouble and pain, so now that the adrenaline has worn off he felt skittish, the caffeine in the red bull probably not helping at all.

“Guys, I gotta go get somethin’ be back later”

“You better, we got a ‘thing’s to do in’ and AHWU to film later” Michael forced a laugh.

“Geoff, I swear I’ll be back-“he mockingly saluted “scouts honour”

“You don’t have honour asshole” Michael paused in the doorway, itching to leave, but knowing that they would know something was up if he didn’t retort. He placed a hand over his heart.

“Ouch Geoff, and here I thought we had something” His boss laughed.

“Get out of here”

Once again he raised his middle finger before making his way through the warehouse. While walking a little faster than normal, he considered his options, Lindsay, Miles and Kerry were all busy recording for RWBY. Not that that had stopped him before, but with how he felt he knew he looked like shit and they would ask questions. _He didn’t want questions._

Burnie and Matt were in a meeting, and Gus’ office was gone into too frequently right about this time, he also didn’t feel like bothering Joel. Well, Jon it was then. With a destination in mind Michael scurried through the parking lot over to the bungalow, slowing down as he went up the ramp. When he entered he was greeted with hello’s and mumbles of greeting from the few people in the shared office. He greeted them as happily as he could with the burning anxiety swarming his insides, as he entered Jon’s office.

He felt a wave of both disappointment and relief as he realized that the other man wasn’t there, Ignoring that he went over and sat down… under the desk. Some may think that was weird but honestly it’s a closed space with someone he trusts guarding the entrance, in his panicked state, it would seem like the safest place in the world.

Luckily for him no one had come in, as he sat there with his knees tucked into his chest, he thought. He tried to think about all the good times he’s had in Austin, how he never wanted to go back to Jersey, but knowing he had to if he wanted to see his family more often. How the friends he had made were so caring, but such assholes at the same time how-

His thoughts went blank when he heard someone open and close the door softly, their footsteps just as quiet paired with the pitter pattering of tiny paws. Jon’s face soon came into view, a gentle smile on his lips with a small and again equally gentle dog snuffling at his legs.

“You wanna talk about it? Or just chill?”

That made Michael feel guilty, it always did, he was intruding in Jon’s space, he wanted to talk, he knew it would make the other man happy, but he just… couldn’t, at least not now. He sighed, slowly scratching behind golden floppy ears.

“Sorry”

“It’s alright, stay as long as you want, I’ll just be working, let me know if you need anything okay?

Michael nodded, he didn’t want to bother Jon, even if he did need something, the elder having already done so much for him. Out the corner of his eye the red-head saw Jon shake his head, gently prompting Michael to look at him.

“Michael-“ he began “If you need anything, you don’t need to feel bad, or guilty, I’m here, and you’re here, were friends and I want to help you, if you feel down, I’m honored that you would even consider coming in here. That means I’m doing something right, if you need something, ask, if you want something, ask, I won’t be upset. Come when you want and go when you want. My door is always open.”

Jon pat his hand that was still tangled in Bella’s fur, before standing to sit at his desk, taking care to not bump or step on the man under it. Michael sat there with wide eyes, mulling over what had been said. It’s not like he hadn’t heard it before from the other man, on the contrary he said it a lot. But no matter how many times it was said Michael still found it mystifying that he seemed to _mean_ it. He drifted back to reality when Bella curled up in his lap, she was a darling little thing all golden fur and wagging tails.

Some time had passed before Michael checked the time again, seeing that he had stayed way longer than he had originally planned. She sighed patting Jon’s shin before slipping out from under the desk.

“Thanks Jon” he muttered, still a bit embarrassed.

“It’s fine Michael, hey by the way I was meaning to ask, could you be on the next On the Spot? Barbra cancelled so ya ’know…”

“Of course, it’s the least I can do” the older man smiled and Michael felt like he’d go through a lot to try and pay this man back for all of his kindness. This was really the least he could do, he meant what he said.

Michael with one last exchange of smiles, made his way back to the Achievement Hunter office. Once there he paused with his hand on the door handle, he hesitated dragging in a deep breath to prepare himself for the guys questioning him on why he was so late. He slowly stepped in, schooling his face as he did so into a calm but slightly sheepish expression. Jeremy and Ryan were already playing, which was fair really seeing as how late he was and the schedule they had to keep up with.

“Hey!” Jeremy called from his spot next to Ryan in front of the screen.

“And just where have you been young man?” the tone and wording may have sounded joking but Michael could hear the underlying concern. He dragged his chair over to sit between and slightly behind the two of them, both so that he could be seen by the camera and heard by the mic but also so that they can’t keep giving him looks without turning around which would not be good for the audio. So for now he was safe from their questions.

“Sorry mom” he said faking a sad look, but the twitch of his lips gave him away. He felt Ryan scuff him on the back of the head, it didn’t hurt but it wasn’t soft either. Michael thought it may be pay back for being late.

“Listen to your mother” he glanced at Ryan taking in the mock scolding look and the finger being waved at him. He made his face dramatically shocked glancing erratically between the two of them until Ryan was looking at him curiously, having dropped the act.

“I knew it! I knew you two were fucking!” Jeremy who had just been sipping his Dr. Pepper started coughing, while Ryan chuckled and pat his back.

“What gave you that idea oh smart one?” the older man asked mockingly. It sounded rhetorical so the Jersian didn’t answer that but instead threw in his own question.

“Besides, isn’t it a little weird that I’m older than my Mom?” Jeremy laughed as Ryan pretended to contemplate this. Before he clasped his hands together under his chin then using them to point at Michael.

“Then _you_ can be the Mom” Jeremy’s laughter doubled in volume before he pat the red-heads shoulder huffing out a ‘now who’s fucking who?’ between his remaining puffs of giggles. Michael leaned back in his chair and theatrically sizes Ryan up before huffing and saying with a dead-pan expression.

“Sorry, I don’t do blond assholes that are taller than me” Jeremy snorted as Ryan scoffs.

“What am I not good enough for you?”

“Well that depends”

“On what?”

“On how big your dick is” he made sure to say it as though it was incredibly obvious and he was scolding him for being stupid. Jeremy fucking lost it, at that. The laughter broke off into a round of giggles shared between the three of them. It was nice. Until the moment was broken by Jeremy’s character dying whilst he was distracted. He cursed as he selected to continue and Ryan chastised him for making them go back so far.

“We were almost there!”

“I’m sorry!”

“Sorry doesn’t get us back to where we were”

“It’s Michael’s fault!” Michael rolled his eyes before defending himself.

“Don’t drag me into this you fucker”

“Michael come on!”

“Like dude, I’ve played this game before and I know that between where you are now and where you were there were like four save points. Seriously Lil’ J that’s like Gavin level of stupid” Ryan snorted as Jeremy sighed in defeat.

“Can’t argue with that logic” the red-head just hummed in affirmation.

Before the shorter man could select to continue, Ryan suggested they end the episode there and take a break. They could get at least another episode in if they only took a fifteen minute one.

~-~

By the time the guys had come back to film AHWU, they were almost to the end of the level where they had planned to stop, though, it was proving to be more difficult for Jeremy than what was previously expected.

“C’mon assholes we have a shit ton of stuff to do today, hurry up” Geoff called as Jeremy failed once again. Michael sighed as he too was becoming bored with the tedium. The next time the younger man started the trial again, he snatched the controller from his hands before the countdown ended.

“Wha- Hey!” Michael just ignored the other’s indignant shout and smirked when Gavin cheered him on knowing that he had already finished the game once or twice before, and would have no problem.

“Go boi! Show ‘im how it’s done!” When the End of Level screen popped up not two minutes after they started, the Gents all chuckled at Jeremy’s expense. How could they not with that betrayed and awed look on his face. He stared at Michael for a moment who apathetically stared back, before looking over the red-head’s shoulder to see Gavin’s smug face.

“What are you so smug for? You didn’t even play!” Gavin’s grin only spread wider across his cheeks.

“Well Michael is my boi, and if he wins, by extension, I win.”

“You wi- Gavin, that doesn’t make any sense!” Ryan rolled his eyes before muttering-

“When does Gavin ever make sense?” It was silent for a moment before Jeremy nodded, entirely serious as though Ryan had just revealed the world’s secrets. This time the one to disturb the silence was Gavin, squawking looking betrayed and annoyed. Michael laughed cheerfully, his smile making his cheeks hurt and eyes crinkle.

In the corner of his eye he noticed Jack watching him, he tilted his head a bit so he could see him clearly without it being obvious, as he tuned out the bickering of the others and Gavin’s yells. He was still laughing over the previous conversation though it was softer now, his humor dampened with curiosity. Jack was indeed looking- no he was _staring_ at him, looking entirely too fond, paired with a soft smile on his face.

He turned to the older man and watched carefully as Jack tried to make it look like he wasn’t just blatantly staring at him. He caught the bearded man’s eyes, and offered him a warm smile. He didn’t see the dusting of pink bloom on the elder’s cheeks under the beard. Michael brushed it off as he turned to the rest of the guys, he rolled his chair closer to Geoff, cutting off his rambled teasing with a gentle nudge to his hip. He looked down at him, and Michael offered him the same smile he had given Jack.

Geoff unfolded his arms, placing one tattooed hand onto the armrest and leaned in, his eyes were guarded but something slipped through the cracks- whatever that emotion was, it was something he didn’t recognize, apart from what he had just seen in Jack’s own eyes.

“What’s up bud?” Michael chuckled nudging his stomach this time before holding up his locked phone flashing him the time. Geoff looked shocked.

“Shit! Were late as dicks dude!” He shook his head and with a roll of his eyes, moved to set up the camera on its tripod for AHWU. While he was busy with that, he also didn’t notice the looks Geoff was directing at him. He took his time, and during this time he wondered what the looks meant and if they had been always looking at him like that. He couldn’t remember and didn’t really want to think about it so he merely shrugged and moved to sit at his desk to let Geoff, Jack and the guys so their thing, he wasn’t in the mood to join them this time.

Despite him not joining in, he felt content, he had an amazing job, tons of friends and a couple of shoulders to lean on when things became too much for him.

It was only a week before things went to shit.

\---

He’d noticed that morning how jumpy his co-workers were being, they skittered around conversations, wouldn’t look him in the eye, and stared when they thought he didn’t notice. But he did. He definitely did, something was wrong and they all knew what it was but were keeping him out of the loop. His many attempts at finding out what it was were thwarted, as he was either directed away from the topic or ignored all together.

Was it something he did? To say he was frightened was an understatement, he was practically about to piss himself. Did he offend them? Did he take a joke too far? He froze as the next question whispered through his mind _. Did they know?_ That sent his heart racing and lungs constricting, he didn’t want them to know, they’d think he was weak or they might make fun of him or… they might- they might think he was broken, not good enough, not worth it…

Well he was, at least he thought he was, but they didn’t need to know that.

So when the time came to talk he was shitting himself.

It was just after a break when he came in to the office and was met with a tense silence. He stilled in the doorway, stealing away his emotions to school his expression as cool and apathetic. He raised an eyebrow, simultaneously putting his hands in his hoodie pockets to hide their trembling.

“Did I miss something or…” he let himself trail off knowing that they would get the jist of what he was trying to say. He watched hesitantly as they shared a look and Gavin stood slowly.

“You mind if we talk boi?” terror nestled in his heart as he nodded but didn’t move. The brit looked around nervously.

“Privately?” Michael sighed and gave a single nod before moving out of the room. He shuffled to the office next door, shooting Andy a quick greeting as he passed as he was the only one currently in the room. He entered the recording booth and closed the window between it and their office, before turning and walking past Gavin to close the door. He stood next to it; far enough to not seem suspicious and yet close enough where he could run if need be.

He studied the other man as he visibly collected his thoughts.

“Micool” he began, pausing and taking a deep breath as Michael let some of the panic seep into his voice.

“Everything alright Gav?” the man in question merely smiled, the same smile that he had seen on Jack and not on Geoff.

“I’m fine boi-“ Michael relaxed at the nickname, hoping that this meant it wouldn’t be too bad. “-I just… I need to ask you something.”

“Okay”

“well you see… oh bullocks- Michael the rest of the guys and I are in a relationship” his eyes grew wide as he processed what his friend had said. He felt so relieved and yet he could taste the bitter tang of jealousy in his throat.

“Is that all Gav? Is that why you guys are so jittery today?” the younger man hesitantly nodded. Michael threw his head back and laughed. He stepped forward taking the surprised brit’s shoulders

”Thank god Gav! You had me so fucking worried!” the blond sputtered obviously still surprised. Michael just smiled calmly. Then the phrasing of what Gavin had said hit him.

“Wait that was a statement, what did you want to ask me?” Gavin sputtered shifting his weight from foot to foot before he lunged forward. Michaels eyes widened as he tried to duck out of the way, he was too late because the next thing he knew Gavin had a hand on his shoulder and one on he cheek and was _kissing_ him.

He shoved his hands between them to shove the other off.

“Micool?”

“What the fuck Gavin! Why the fuck would you do that!” he didn’t mean to yell, he was just so scared and angry and way too fucking confused. “You say you have four boyfriends then shove your tongue down my throat! What the- What the fuck!”

His left hand buried itself in his hair again as it always did when he was scared. While his right was flailing and gesturing as he yelled at his supposed best friend. How could he do that? Was four boyfriends not good enough for him that he just had to come onto him? What a fucking prick. And he told him as much, not really told, more like screamed it at him frantically.

Gavin was frozen, his mouth agape, and opening and closing like a fish. Then throughout the yelling Michael felt it, a sharp stinging on his cheek. It wasn’t too bad, he’d felt worse, but he never expected it of _Gavin_ of all people. He stilled, his body instinctively numbing himself to the pain. The brit looked furious, his hand still in the air, he opened his mouth, probably to yell. But Michael wouldn’t know, because he ran. He burst into the office, ignoring all the surprised and worried looks, his cheek stung, his eyes burned with tears and his entire body sung with an aching terror. He was out of that office so quickly, needing to get as far away from them as possible.

He ended up outside Burnie’s office somehow, his feet taking him where he needed to go while his thoughts reeled. He took a second to breath before entering, Burnie looked up from his computer looking vaguely annoyed before his face was overcome with concern. Yeah, Michael knew he probably looked like shit.

“Hey B-Burnie uh, I think I’m going to have to take a mental health day.” He fidgeted and readjusted his bag strap over his shoulder. Burnie studied him then sighed.

“Be back Monday” Michael was shocked, it was _Thursday_ , and he was letting him go till _Monday?_

“A-are” He cleared his throat in disbelief, “Are you sure” Burnie merely smiled and made him promise to return on Monday before shooing him out with assurances that he will let Geoff know. He thanked him before taking the long route which avoided the AH office. When he made it to his car, he was out of there as fast as he was allowed to.

\---

When Michael came back to work on Monday, they could tell something was different. He was quiet and reserved, when Gavin tried to apologize he wouldn’t meet the brit’s eyes, and when something was asked of him even as a joke he would just sigh and go to do it. However, the fan base would never know that something was off as whenever the camera was on he was back to being their bubbly, angry friend.

Gavin’s concern soon melted to disgust and annoyance. He was convinced that the oldest lad was homophobic and didn’t seem to even want to be anywhere near them. He told the others as much and over the course of the next week, they believed him and started to push at Michael. Not in a physical sense, though at one point when Michael avoided a hug from Gavin he slapped his shoulder pretty hard. They singled him out in videos, did live action videos without him and practically shunned him constantly.

After one particularly bad Minecraft recording, Michael broke, he sat silently after turning off the recording equipment so still that if anyone looked at him they would not think he was breathing. At some point Jeremy got up to talk to Gavin, as he walked past, he “accidentally” bumped the Jersian’s chair. Everyone turned in surprise as a loud, high pitched whimper echoed in the room and watched in surprise and guilt as Michael began to sob, hands over his face and shoulders bunched up making him look so much smaller than he really was.

Jeremy reached forward to apologize but faltered when the other rose to his feet and started heading for the door.

“Michael wait…” it was Geoff this time, his face absolutely dripping with guilt.

“n-no Geoff, it’s okay I… I deserved it” before the older man could protest, he was gone. It was silent in the office, everyone rethinking over all they had put him through the past week. Jack spoke up, regret the main emotion in his voice.

“Gavin… what actually happened when you talked to Michael?” He wanted to reassure himself and his boys that what they’ve done wasn’t over nothing.

“Well I told him that we were together… then I kissed him”

“You what!” Ryan growled.

“You didn’t think to explain anything first? Is that why he ran!” he accused a moment later.

“He freaked out and started accusing me of cheating and got so hurtful!” Geoff stood so suddenly and violently that it made them all flinch as his chair hit the ground.

“Go! Go find him, so we can fix your damn mistake. I’m so pissed at you Gavin-“ the brits eyes lowered to the floor shame overwhelming him, but he could have cried when Geoff continued. “More than that I’m so disappointed. Disappointed that you would _lie_ to us and _make things worse_ instead of telling us _your boyfriends_ , what happened so we could _fix_ it!”

Gavin tried to stutter an excuse, but Ryan would have none of it and shooed him out of the office.

Only for him to return forty minutes later without Michael and looking impossibly more guilty. They started discussing what their next course of action was when there was a knock on the door, they hadn’t even realized that they had locked it. Gavin quickly scurried over, distantly hoping that it was the Jersian on the other side, instead when he opened it all he was met with was a harsh shove, he stumbled back with the force, his hip hitting the edge of Michael’s desk.

It was Jon, as he realized that he took note of how the man shut and locked the door behind him. He spun around, hair flying around his face at the speed, and eyes practically burning with rage.

“What the fuck!” he threw his arms up and glared and every one of them before continuing. “What the actual fuck is wrong with you people? Do you take pleasure in seeing him suffer?” with that it was Jack who realized why the other man was so upset.

“Of course not Jon! We- we love him”

“Oh really! Well then you lot have a fucked up way of showing it!”

“ _Well he shouldn’t have reacted the way he did!”_ As soon as he said it he immediately regretted the outburst, Jon went dead still, face blank but eyes still burning accusing holes into his very soul.

“You know what he told me?” he didn’t look away from him even as the others asked him what he was talking about- “He told me you hit him”.

The room collapsed into chaos, everyone denying and throwing their own accusations back at him.

“Shut. Up!” They did, in that silence Jon’s next words were loud and suffocating, almost as though they were tangible and wrapped like a vice around their hearts. “Michael had a bad past- no I won’t elaborate it’s not my place- Just telling him you liked him would have been enough to scare him. But no you just had to kiss him didn’t you, and with no explanation whatsoever? Come on you should have at least expected some backlash, then when he’s panicking, you hit him Gavin” Said man flinched, staring at Jon’s shoes so he wouldn’t have to see what his boyfriends or the man in front of him was feeling. Anyway it didn’t matter, he didn’t have to look up to feel their judgmental stares.

“You hit him, and I don’t think I have ever seen him have a worse panic attack- You saw his car didn’t you? At the end of the day, surely you must have realized that he hadn’t gone home?” now that they think about it, they had, they had noticed and no one had thought to question it as they were too busy questioning Gavin on what had taken place with the auburn haired man.

“Between when he left your office and when he went home, which was an hour and a half after hours by the way, he was in my office- No I’m not going to tell you where he is now, but I am going to go get him, and you fucks better have thought up an acceptable apology by the time I get back or I swear to god-“ he let his threat hang in the air and unlocked the office before storming out. Gavin hesitantly turned to face the four others.

“G-Guy’s I’m-“ Geoff just raised his hand palm up and Gavin quickly quieted, Geoff wouldn’t even look at him, he sighed. ”What’s done is done Gav, what we need to focus on now, is Michael” Geoff put his head in his hands his shoulders lightly shaking, Jack tried to quell the tremors by rubbing soothing circles into his back.

An minute passed and there was a quiet conversation taking place behind the door. The handle jiggled before it was pressed down and the door opened, Jon held the door open and gently guided a apprehensive Michael into the room with a hand on the small of his back. Jon let the door swing closed behind him as he slowly directed the Jersian to the couch, he coaxed Michael into the seat, ruffling his hair before straightening up to move away. Before he could go far, Michael snatched his sleeve, begging with his eyes for him to stay.

“I’ll be right outside the door, you’ll be okay” Hesitantly the auburn haired man pulled his hand away and nodded, his left hand moving to wring his right wrist out of nervousness. The only sound in the room was the click as the door closed, and five pairs of eyes were locked on Michael. The oldest Lad had pulled his knees to his chest and embraced them, hands continuing their ministrations, eyes darting around the room to look at everything but them. It broke their hearts.

After an extended awkward silence it was Jack who took the initiative, slowly, to not startle the lad, he shuffled forward to sit cross-legged in front of him. He tried to ignore the red-rimmed inquisitive stare. Slowly like he was reaching for a wild animal, which Michael kind of looked like at that moment, he leaned forward and took Michael’s left hand in both of his larger ones. He held it loosely, giving the younger the chance to pull away should he choose to do so.

Jack really hoped he didn’t. Luckily after a moment he felt the tension melt from the captured appendage and he moved his thumbs to rub across the back of his hand and knuckles. They kept their eyes locked, Michael watching for any inconsistencies in behavior and Jack watching as the tension also slipped from the rest of his body a small smile tilting the edges of his lips up, that was what he was looking for.

The sweet feeling of success only took a second to vanish as the whiskey brown eyes were drawn to something over his shoulder. Michael left his hand in Jacks care, but the rest of him curled up a little more, the tension back in full force, and perhaps even worse than before. Jack growled quietly and tuned his head to see Gavin sitting to his left and just behind him. A slew of apologies and excuses left the brit in a quiet rush, tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

Jeremy could see how overwhelmed the older man was getting and quickly moved to his aid.

“What Gavin is trying to say Michael, is that he’s sorry” Michael slowly dragged his eyes from a furiously nodding Gavin to Jeremy. Their eyes locked as he continued.

“We all are, for the way we treated you, for not getting your side of the story, and for ignoring you.” He trailed off, having to stop, from getting so choked up himself. He moved to sit of Jack’s other side as Geoff continued for him. “We’re so sorry for not telling you sooner or properly, seriously why did we think it was a good idea to send _Gavin?_ He’s the most emotionally constipated out of all of us”

The rest merely nodded and Gavin shrugged not bothering to even pretend to be offended, “Well he’s not wrong, and I’ve made a right mess haven’t I?” they were all delighted with the breathy chuckle and slight nod their distraught companion allowed. Ryan shuffled forward, and placed a hand beside Michael, his eye’s asking the question he was too nervous to ask. When Michael nodded it became a soft smile and he sat himself comfortably next to the younger man. While this was going on, Geoff continued to explain their actions, though he kept a sharp eye on the interaction, making sure Michael didn’t get more uncomfortable.

The man in question was only half paying attention to what he was saying, looking up and nodding or shaking his head at what seemed to be the appropriate moments. His attention more focused on how soft Jack’s hands were or how warm the body beside him was. Mustering up his courage he shifted, so that he was no longer curled up against the arm of the couch but rather against Ryan’s arm. Ryan seemed startled for a moment before his arm was pulled away, Michael started to panic and shift away, silently beating himself up for scaring him off.

Those thoughts were promptly torn apart and abandoned as the arm he had been leaning against wrapped around him and pulled him closer. He squeezed Jack’s hand and pressed his face into Ryan’s chest, the ache in his heart had dissipated and brought him to the awareness of how tired he really was. He was vaguely aware of Geoff going silent and shifting away. He looked up and watched as he went over to the blanket that as always, was thrown over the throne in the corner. When he returned, he helped Ryan wrap it around him and draped the rest over his captive pillow.

Said pillow turned to him slightly and placed his other hand on the small of his back, leaning back against the other arm of the couch and pulled Michael so that he was practically laying on him, with his head on the blonde’s chest. As the fatigue caught up to him, he blearily watched as his glasses were removed, carefully folded and placed on his desk, while one of the others let Jon know that he was okay.

Ryan’s arms tightened comfortably around him, he pressed his face into the crook of the gent’s neck, under his chin. He smelt like his usual aftershave and something that was purely _Ryan._ The smell comforting as he let the merciful hands of sleep drag him into the calming darkness of unconsciousness.

**< (ò<ò)> _*Cheep Cheep*_**

Jack sighed and watched forlornly as Ryan pulled the sleeping Lad closer, he wasn’t surprised really, honestly he would be more surprised if Michael _wasn’t_ tired after that emotional rollercoaster of a week. He turned so that he could see all the others, they were all sitting throughout the room, all looking varying levels of uncomfortable.

“This won’t make up for what we’ve done” Jeremy pointed out at last, starting the conversation they all needed to have, but no one wanted. “But it’s a start” he grumbled guilt seeping into his voice as he looked down at his hands. Jack sighed and pulled the youngest into his lap, gently trying to comfort his young lover.

“You’re right… but until we have proven ourselves and have been forgiven we will make his the happiest he can.” Geoff said determinedly looking them all in the eye.

“But Geoff?” Ryan interjected, his voice barely above a whisper to not wake his sleeping charge. “Yeah Ry?” Ryan looked down at the sleeping face, respect, adoration and annoyance clear in his expression. “He’s going to forgive us immediately, no matter what we do. You know how he is” Geoff just nodded, as though he had already thought of that.

“When _we_ forgive ourselves, then and only then will this be behind us” the others nodded in agreement, all bar Ryan who kept still as Michael curled further into his chest and neck.

Their conversation continued on like that, suggestions on how to make it up to him and guilty comments filled with self-loathing, taking up the majority of the interactions.

Regaining consciousness was like swimming through tar for Michael. Everything was foggy and slow yet he felt oddly refreshed. Without opening his eyes he tuned into the conversation taking place, and internally frowned. They were all blaming themselves? Why? _He_ was the fucked up one. He heaved a strained sigh and pried open his eyes, he took a moment to look around at all the guys, and tilted his head up to look at Ryan. The older man was looking back at him, one hand gently brushing his curls from his eyes. Michael smiled sleepily at him and pat Ryan’s side where his hand had been laying.

“Hey” he whispered, “Have a nice nap?” Michael chuckled, taking note on how the others hadn’t noticed yet. “I did” he teased just as quietly “especially because I just such a nice pillow” Ryan’s laugh rumbled in his chest and shook Michael along with it. He rested his cheek back in the older man’s chest and yawned.

“You know, the last thing we ever wanted to do, was hurt you” Surprised by the honestly simmering in the statement he reverted to humor to hide what he was feeling, so he whined, “Why would that even be on the damn list of things to do~” a warm feeling spreading through his chest when Ryan laughed and nuzzled his hair “True. I wonder…” Dazed and quiet, he barely noticed when he let his emotions slip.

“I love you guys” the room was silent and he didn’t dare open his eyes.

“We love you too” a voice that was distinctly Geoff piped up. “Were so sorry Michael -I-we…” he trailed off.

“Just don’t do it again and we’ll be fine” he could feel his awareness drifting in and out, and realized that he was once again falling asleep, safe and warm, tucked in Ryan’s side and surrounded by his closest friends. But before he completely lost his hold on reality he heard a quiet chuckle and felt a phantom pressure on his cheek, it was only for a second so he wasn’t even sure if it was real or just his wishful thinking.

“Wouldn’t dream of it”


End file.
